Kyle's Diagnosis
by phantomzombie
Summary: A Hormone Monster comes to see Kyle when he starts losing interest in Heidi, and gaining more interest in Bebe. If you're sensitive, please refrain from reading. South Park is owned by Trey Parker, Matt Stone and Comedy Central. Big Mouth is owned by Nick Kroll, Andrew Goldberg and Netflix. Characters are aged up.


**Author's Note: This story is set in Walter Bryan Cranston White's Universe.**

* * *

**Kyle and Heidi are talking in the hallway, and they're looking lovingly into one another's eyes. Bebe walks by, and Kyle's eyes shift focus to her ass.**

**Heidi:** Kyle?

**Kyle:** Huh?

**Heidi:** Were you listening?

**Kyle:** Yeah, sorry. Got distracted by something.

**Heidi:** Okay, now as I was saying...

**She continues talking, but Kyle's mind is not on the conversation right now. He appears to zone out.**

**Kyle's Subconscious:** _Why did I stare at Bebe's ass? Why would I betray Heidi again? __**(Gasp)**__ Could it be? I think I'm attracted to Bebe. I can't let Heidi know; it'll break her heart._

**Heidi ends her topic.**

**Heidi:** Did you hear all that Kyle?

**Kyle:** Yes babe.

**He hadn't really. He's lying to her face.**

**That night, when Kyle is asleep, he puts his hand down his pants and starts stroking his cock, as though he's not in control of his actions. Kyle wakes up.**

**Kyle:** What the hell? Why am I masturbating? Who's controlling me? **(Gasp)** Has O'Malley returned?

**An entity exits through Kyle's mouth and manifests itself in front of him. It's a furry, bipedal being, with horns and a lot of hair.**

**Kyle:** Who are you?

**Thing:** I'm Murray, but others call me the Hormone Monster. Just don't call me the Puberty Fairy.

**Kyle:** Why'd you come to me of all people?

**Murray:** I heard you stared at a girl's ass today.

**Kyle:** And I have a girlfriend who I betrayed before and don't want to again.

**Murray:** Ohhhhhhhh, that's ouch. Well, what she doesn't know can't hurt her. Now, drop your pants.

**Kyle drops his pants; he's already got an erection.**

**Murray:** Now close your eyes.** (Kyle closes his eyes)**. What do you see?

**Kyle:** I see... Bebe, and... she's naked!

**Murray:** And she's the girl you stared at today? I heard she's smoking hot.

**Kyle:** Yeah. **(He begins stroking himself)**

**Murray:** Jacking off is the best way to get rid of unwanted wood. Don't forget to use a tissue to catch your creamy stuff.

**Murray gives Kyle a tissue.**

**Murray:** Now I want you to keep visioning her until the wood goes away. Keep stroking.

**Kyle does as he's told, and visions Bebe shaking her butt at him. The strokes get faster, and then he blows into the tissue. He tosses it away, flops down on his bed and goes back to sleep.**

**Later in the night, he feels his manhood inside somewhere hot and wet. It felt so real, he lifted the covers expecting to see someone giving him a blowjob, but there was no-one there. Just another dream.**

**Kyle:** I'm going to keep this a secret, and not tell anyone, not even Heidi.

* * *

**The Next Night, Murray is still haunting Kyle.**

**Meanwhile, at the Stevens Residence, Bebe is dreaming about a boy she has a crush on, but knows he has a girlfriend. She hears a voice behind her, and so turns around.**

**Voice: **Hello, my precious little ravioli.

**Bebe: **Wha-

**Thing:** Shhhhhhh, it's okay baby child. I'm here.

**Bebe: **Who are you?

**Thing: **I am Cassie; a Hormone Monstress.

**Bebe: **Hormone Monstress?

**Cassie: **Yeah. Haven't you watched 'Big Mouth', a Netflix original?

**Bebe: **Yeah. Anyway, what are you doing in my room?

**Cassie: **I caught wind that you were attracted to a guy, who's already taken. Have you been dreaming about him?

**Bebe: **Every night, ever since that accidental kiss.

**Cassie: **What's the name of the boy?

**Bebe: **Kyle Broflovski.

**Cassie: **I heard he's a cute guy, with that ass and all.

**Bebe: **Yeah, it is a cute ass.

* * *

**Back to Kyle, he's dreaming, and it's a wet one; in the dream, Kyle is asked by the coach to deliver fresh towels to the girls' locker room. As he's about to leave, he hears rushing water, and goes to investigate. When he gets to the shower area, he sees Bebe showering, her back turned to him. Kyle is red-faced and can't stop staring at her butt. He undresses, and sneaks up behind her. He allows his already hard cock to poke her in the ass, causing her to turn around; they slink their arms around the back of their necks and begin making out. Then Heidi appears, all sweaty from cheerleading. She sees her boyfriend making out with Bebe, so what does she do? She strips naked, joins the two, gets on her knees and blows Kyle.**

**Heidi (To Bebe):** Wanna swap?

**Bebe:** Hell yeah.

**Bebe bends down and starts sucking on Kyle, while Heidi makes out with him.  
**

**Kenny peeps into the locker room and witnesses the threeway, and Kyle getting double-pleasured, and Bebe is already rubbing his ass.**

**Kenny: **I'll have what he's having.

**Back in the real world, Kyle wakes up and sees Murray sitting beside him on a stool, wearing glasses and holding both a clipboard and pen.**

**Murray:** Can you describe your dream?

**Kyle:** Well, the coach wanted me to deliver towels to the girls' locker room, so I do. Suddenly, I see Bebe naked, so I get nude and surprise her by poking her bum with my cock. We start making out, and then I find myself getting blown, only to realise Heidi is working on me below the waist. Then she and Bebe swap. I don't know, is it too much to ask for two girlfriends?

**Murray:** No. I've seen boys who have multiple girlfriends. Get ready to join them. Kyle, I've found your diagnosis: Puberty.

**Kyle: **That makes sense.

**Murray: **And with Puberty, you have needs to satisfy. I'm prescribing you to dreaming about Bebe nude until your needs are completely satisfied.

**Kyle: **O-kay.

**He's a little unsure.**

* * *

**Later, at the Hormone Entity's HQ.**

**Murray: **How'd your client go?

**Cassie: **Bebe? Oh, she's horny for some Jew ass. Your client?

**Murray: **I prescribed Kyle to masturbation. He'll be fine.

**The End**

* * *

**Author's Note: **Sorry I've been inactive. Just had a busy week. Also, this is my first crossover story.


End file.
